Yiddish curses

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, was this weekend, and part of the rabbi's sermon today had most of the congregation doubled over in their seats laughing.

He began by lamenting the cursing of recent times -- not the fact that there is cursing, mind you, but the fact that we aren't more creative about it. Yiddish curses, he said, start off sounding like a blessing -- but then there's a twist. My favorite, which I've used more than once, is this: May you grow like an onion, with your head in the ground and your feet in the air.

Others include: May you lose all your teeth but one, and may you get a toothache in the one you have left; May you have a sweet death, may you be run over by a sugar truck; May you be like a chandelier, hanging all day and burning all night. You get the picture.

So now I'm contemplating good curses. (Some others are here -- enjoy!)