Snow plows

It's snowing all over the place today (though not where I am). Because I am jealous -- and because they're hysterical -- I was delighted to learn that Scotland names its snow plows, the better for tracking them.

Some examples include The Great Grittish Flake-Off, William Wall-Ice, Sled Zeppelin and Salt Disney. But there are many, many, many more. And they are glorious.

Favorite words

One of the options on a press-one-for-X menu I called today included hearing a radio personality say her favorite words. 

So I did! And she did. Among them: splendid and hilarious. 

Road names

I have always been fascinated by the naming of roads. One of my life goals is to name them within a neighborhood. (Urban planner friends, help me out here!)

So today I was delighted by a street sign I saw while driving in north Georgia. The road was called Apple Ridge 2.

That's right - 2! Right there on the sign! Like, yeah, we know there's another one... but this was our destiny! 

I googled it when I got home, just to make sure my eyes didn't deceive me. Nope. Dawsonville, Georgia. It's there. 

Nicknames

The book I started last night begins with a character calling her best friend by a series of nicknames -- ZanaBanana, Prescription Xanax, Alexander Zamilton. Zanny Boy. The Zan names go on.

While we do it less frequently now, a friend and I used to start and end every email correspondence with what I will call the incorporative nickname. I would sometimes delay responses while I looked for the perfect fit, and I'd stash away good ones when I came across them. So the fact that these were on Page 1 was a good open for this book, (from the box of books!), which I enjoyed.

Also, in the reviews, there was a comment thread about how someone almost burned down a house after trying to dry a shirt in the oven, and that made me laugh, too.

'He is and he does'

This story about vanity license plates in California is funny in and of itself. You should read it and giggle.

My favorite one is someone who requested the plate "TUNAFSH" with the explanation that he is a fisherman who travels to fish for tuna, and would like people to know that via his vehicle.

"I Googled him," the DMV says. "He is and he does."

Still, they rejected it. Poor fisherman!

'Please scream inside your heart'

The Wall Street Journal has this most amazing article on Tokyo Disney reopening. In it, we learn that people who ride the roller coasters... are not allowed to scream.

Because screaming spreads droplets, which spread disease.

But what's a roller coaster without a shriek? The CEO and another top exec rode stone-faced, to prove it could be done.

And they urged patrons to "Please scream inside your heart."

So ridiculous and so very good.

Why yes, he is

I got an email today from someone whose email address included the phrase "he's retired now" (minus the apostrophe, of course) and I thought it was delightful.

I also got a TON of emails from people who had questions or opinions or weren't happy with work-related things. When I replied to them, many of them said thank you. One told me he appreciated my professional response. One became a daylong exchange. And only one replied telling me "bullshit." It could have been so many more!

Plus, one led to an email exchange with a higher-up that made me smile, too.

For the birds

A receipt from the olden days, when you used to go to restaurants and eat food, that had the server's name on it. His last name was Cockatiel. I don't know if it was real or make-believe, but it made me smile.

Red handed

I just had to share this story, about how Genius Lyrics coded its apostrophes to track when someone (in this case, Google) copied them elsewhere online. It's just fascinating, and the choice for Morse Code translation made me smile.

Racing stripes

On the way in to work this morning, I heard a song that made me smile. It included the lines "my dog has racing stripes" and "I named my dog Springsteen, cuz it was born to run."

Of course, I tried to find the song when I got to the office. But the internet isn't cooperating, and it's nowhere to be found! Do you know this song? Can you find it for me? I'll be forever grateful.

It's a good day

When I get an email that begins "Dear Depraved Sickos."

(But no, for real. I laughed out loud.)

Abstract Sunday

Hi, Internet.

I make no promises that I will visit with more frequency, though lots of people will be looking for more things that make them happy in the coming weeks and months.

I'm happy to share with you something that pleased and amazed me today, though, as I'm sitting in the office the day before Thanksgiving, waiting for my phone to ring.

I've long been a fan of the artist Christoph Niemann, who I first discovered through his NYT columns. He hasn't published them in a while. But I stumbled across him today somewhere else, and it led me to his Twitter feed, and man, is it a delight.

Click through to see some amazing illustrations, as well as interviews and other fun things. It made me smile. I hope it brings you joy, too.

Books, books, books (and a bonus)

A post in three parts (and a bonus):

Today -- for the fourth time in recent memory, which is indeed a dangerous thing -- I stumbled upon Bag Day at my local library. This means that you can fill a grocery bag full of for-sale books for super cheap. In today's case, I spent $12 on two paper bags full of books. Luckily (because my shelf space is severely limited), I intend to give some of them away. I also came out with the John Green book I went in for, which was the original purpose of the library visit.

In the free book bin, I found a book of poems by Billy Collins. I was lucky enough to see him converse with Paul Simon last year, and I really loved the poems he read then. But I haven't sought out any others, despite intent. When I picked up the book, the co-worker who put it there saw my face. "It's gone to the right place," she said.

I got in the mail a book I lent out maybe two years ago. I'd forgotten just how beautiful it is. You should definitely read it. And now I have my copy back to lend again.

And! What else should come in the mail but a blue canary! For putting in the outlet by the light switch! (It's already there.) It was totally unexpected and I am super stoked!

I hope they did this on purpose

Kansas and Toto are touring together.

You're welcome.

Feb. 14

I brought these to work last week, and gave them away to co-workers and friends. More than the Valentines (which are so cute!), I loved the box they came in. No batteries required! Paper-folding action!

Just wanted to send my love to those of you I couldn't hand a Valentine to, too.

Ode to a Pear

O, pear you are
juicy and awkward, requiring me
to slurp you up
before I chew. I eat you with
a pile of paper towels,
soaked through. Your bulbous bottom
bumps my lip, your tiny stem
evades my grasp, your subtle core
hides beneath pearflesh, a sad surprise
when I bite seeking more fruit and find, instead,
something new. I eat you and think
of Jelly Belly candies, of summer days, of
my mother, who loves the flavors you
imbue. I will not bake you. You are
a fruit to be devoured raw, dripping, sticky,
sweet. O, pear, you may frustrate my desires
to elegantly consume, but pear?
I savor you.

Love is in the air

Aside from getting to hang out with an old friend I don't get to spend nearly enough time with since she moved away, this is what made me happiest this Valentine's Day.

They're just so wonderful.

Love to all of you!

Of hashtags

Last year (Was it last year? It was not -- it was Dec. 2009!), we brought you the fantastic hashtag #washingtonpostcorrections. Today, I share another: #JerryMealsSaysItsSafe. (You should click that link, if you click no other links in this post.)

Jerry Meals is a Major League Baseball umpire. In the 19th inning of a Braves/Pirates game Tuesday night (that actually ended Wednesday morning at 1:50 a.m.), he made a widely debated call at home plate, saying that a runner who was tagged out was actually safe. That meant that the Braves won the game, and it knocked the Pirates -- who were in first place in their division (and for the Pirates, this is a feat!) -- back out of the lead.

I hope I didn't lose you with that background. Now, angry Pirates fans (and others with a sense of humor) are making lists of other things (Well, OK, click this one, too.) that Meals says are safe, that are as far as far can be from safe.

Some examples:

• WhyteDynamite: Think I may go for a ride in a zepplin this wknd. I've always wanted to look down at Earth and smoke cigarettes. #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• DBergz13: jumping out of an airplane without a parachute cuz #JerryMealssaysitssafe
• uncleyucki: Playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• hamsandcastle: An island full of dinosaurs in captivity? Count me in! #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• jesslag: Gonna cross these mountains with my new friends the Donners #jerrymealssaysitssafe

There are more about Casey Anthony as a babysitter, Amy Winehouse's drug ingestion, playing in traffic and condom use -- among other wonderfully inappropriate things.

Read. Giggle. Enjoy.

Canadian radio

This isn't the first time I've extolled the virtues of the music from our neighbors to the north. But it has been a while. And two things about CBC radio made me smile the other day.

First, there was the commercial that -- instead of telling me something was on at 8/7 Central -- told me the programme they were discussing was on at 8/8:30 Newfoundland.

There's also the matter of temperature. Driving home with my windows down and the sun beating the temperature well into the 80s, I hardly expected to hear the forecast tell me tomorrow's high would be 28 degrees.

Hello, sunshine!

The best part about winter is that it begets spring. And this past week, spring arrived -- at least for a little while.

This means bright sunlight, melting snow and people wearing shorts and short sleeves. Broad smiles. Windswept hair. Drinks on patios. It's awesome.

I ate lunch outside the past few days, sitting on the stoop of my building with a book. This evening, I managed to spare a few minutes for an art walk -- something much harder to convince yourself to do if it's an art trudge. Yesterday's warm weather inspired a trip to Coventry and some super conversation.

You Southerners -- with your 70-degree Marches -- may think we're crazy. But I'll leave you with the weather report from the college radio station this morning:

"Exceptionally warm... 63 degrees... unbelievable!"

And that pretty much sums it up.