My favorite thing today

I've been meaning to post about several things that have been making me happy: unexpected Honeycrisp apples, having options and the ability to make choices, baked goods, delicious chocolate, time with friends, celebrations and making new connections among them.

But for now, I want you to know about this.

It's the latest hashtag-of-wonderfulness, about the Muppets. And Communists. And, just click (on the "this"). It'll make you smile, too.

My favorite that isn't on the list: @owillis: "Just how much of America's tax dollars was used to send pigs to space, sir?" #GOPMuppetHearings

Boys and girls

I'm having way too much fun today learning that I write like a boy. Spoiler alert: I am not a boy.

This comes about as a result of a conversation with a friend, wherein I mistakenly called a male author a her based on writing style. She called me a sexist (it's kind of her m.o.), and then analyzed his writing to find that he did write like a girl. Redeemed!

Since then, I've been putting piece after piece after blog post into the above-analyzer. At best (i.e., most feminine) I write like a weak male. Possibly European.

I'm intrigued.

You can read more about the gendered writing here. And if y'all have long enough samples, I'm curious as to how you write.

Can't complain about their customer service

I threw up on my 2007 Macbook last week. All it affected was a few keys. Apple said, "Sure, we'll fix it, no problem, leave it with us! ..... Oh, wait, it's a biohazard and we won't touch it, so come back and pick it up." Despite this, they still disassembled it... and didn't put it back together properly. When it wouldn't turn on after I got it back, I called and complained.... and they gave me a new 13" Macbook Pro, released a mere two weeks ago.

F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C

As those of you who know me know, I'm a gigantic fan of spelling bees. Gigantic. Like, I host a spelling bee viewing party every year. They are so much fun. (Don't believe me? Watch this, one of my favorite-ever spelling bee moments.)

So when my sister texted me to ask if I had any questions for the director of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, I said yes. (Actually, I said, "OMG probably," but is now really the time to split hairs?)

Moments later, my phone rang. Soon, I was on speaker phone, talking to Paige Kimble.

The first thing I asked her? Her favorite word, of course. And if she could spell it.

For the record, it's Ouaniche, and she can. It's a kind of salmon. She always wanted to get it in a spelling bee, but never did.

We talked a little bit longer about why the bee's on ESPN instead of ABC (I shouldn't hold out hope of it going back on network TV), what she likes about the bee (keeping an old-fashioned skill and experience relevant to the modern world) and how the bee is becoming more popular internationally, and at viewing parties like mine. Before I let her go, she asked me what organization I was with, telling me I sounded very professional. (As a question-asker, I should hope so -- that's what I get paid to do!)

And then I squeed a little to my sister, who pretty much knew this would make my day.

Thanks, darling. And thanks, Paige, for keeping spelling bees alive.

For the birds

My sister is back in the country now, but she spent the summer studying abroad, with only sometimes-Internet. As such, getting an email from her was always exciting.

Particularly amusing was this one, which she sent to my siblings, my parents and myself:

So I was sitting outside a cafe for the past few hours and I made this comment, "I feel like a tree." Since there were leaves and pine and things all over the place. Then a bird pooped on my arm, not two seconds later.

Of course, that made me chuckle.

But what really amused me was the subsequent string of emails between family members, where we all recounted our own bird-poop experiences. Mine was at an amusement park and, as I recall, we subsequently went on one of the water rides ad nauseum (although, let's be honest -- we would have done that anyway) until I was comfortable with the fact that it had been rinsed from my hair.

From my brother:

I got pooped on once, too. I was walking to class in the rain and didn't notice til I got onto campus. I tried to wipe it off of my jacket with my bare hand before I realized what it was. That was unpleasant.

And from you?

Of hashtags

Last year (Was it last year? It was not -- it was Dec. 2009!), we brought you the fantastic hashtag #washingtonpostcorrections. Today, I share another: #JerryMealsSaysItsSafe. (You should click that link, if you click no other links in this post.)

Jerry Meals is a Major League Baseball umpire. In the 19th inning of a Braves/Pirates game Tuesday night (that actually ended Wednesday morning at 1:50 a.m.), he made a widely debated call at home plate, saying that a runner who was tagged out was actually safe. That meant that the Braves won the game, and it knocked the Pirates -- who were in first place in their division (and for the Pirates, this is a feat!) -- back out of the lead.

I hope I didn't lose you with that background. Now, angry Pirates fans (and others with a sense of humor) are making lists of other things (Well, OK, click this one, too.) that Meals says are safe, that are as far as far can be from safe.

Some examples:

• WhyteDynamite: Think I may go for a ride in a zepplin this wknd. I've always wanted to look down at Earth and smoke cigarettes. #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• DBergz13: jumping out of an airplane without a parachute cuz #JerryMealssaysitssafe
• uncleyucki: Playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• hamsandcastle: An island full of dinosaurs in captivity? Count me in! #jerrymealssaysitssafe
• jesslag: Gonna cross these mountains with my new friends the Donners #jerrymealssaysitssafe

There are more about Casey Anthony as a babysitter, Amy Winehouse's drug ingestion, playing in traffic and condom use -- among other wonderfully inappropriate things.

Read. Giggle. Enjoy.

Not only is it not June...

But it's almost not July, either!

So I must tell you, briefly, that I had my first Sunday front-page story. Which is a big deal! And as cool as that is, you know what's even cooler?

The fact that when I told my brother I had a Sunday front-page story, he went out and bought the paper.

Brothers can be cool sometimes.

I'm gearing up for another wedding blitz, so I'm sure there will be many smiles about.

And y'know what else? August brings visitors to Atlanta. I'm excited to see you guys, loyal readers, you.

Of golf carts

Once a month, it seems, I remember I have a blog.

Today, I recall its existence to tell you about golf carts.

The humble golf cart has provided me with many moments of joy, key among them adventures in Southern climes with a dear, dear friend.

Today, I saw a truck filled with golf carts -- like the trucks you see on the highway full of cars, that defy the laws of gravity by how they stack them. Yes, that. But golf carts. It was so amazing.

(The Internet is not helping me find pictures of said wonder, but apparently there is a trucked-up version of the golf cart. Seek for yourself!)

Those of you who are loyal readers (hello, fellow once-a-month posters!) know that one of our own is to wed next weekend. I'm also thrilled to be a part of the festivities. (And, last weekend, to have participated in the nuptials of another good friend!)

And to close: a shout-out to parentheses, which have helped me greatly today in my writing, and in my life.

See you in June!

Not a robin red breast

Apparently, the area I live in has bird feeders about. This morning, as I walked toward my car, I saw a cardinal feeding at one.

There's something about cardinals that just makes me happy. They're so vibrant and bright and vaguely cartoonish with their mess of red feathers that they immediately add color to a day. On top of that, they're also the state bird of Ohio, so they remind me of home.

Breathe out

It's been a rough week, but I wrote a story about the future of video stores today that I'm really excited about, and proud of.

Y'all should read it.

Beer and Running. Who could ask for more?

This past weekend, I completed my first ever Half_Marathon. It was AMAZING!
It was also my first time traveling with my co-workers, my first time to Virginia Beach, and my first time smiling at the end of a race. Yay!!!!

Again with the eggs

I have a friend, who just arrived in the country after a jaunt overseas, call to tell me that she smuggled in my favorite toy.

And that she avoided the bathroom for the entire flight. If you know me (and presumably, most of you do), you know why I find this so amusing.

Also, the weather this weekend was gorgeous. I got to see a friend unexpectedly. I have out-of-state journeys planned. And a new haircut that I'm adoring.

30th Birthday

So, Today is a great day. I ran 11 miles at a 13:16 average pace - Yay!
Also, the Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2012 will be on my 30th birthday. So I will be going to Disney! Yay!

Birthday Fun

It is my birthday! This is enough reason to post, but even more happy is all the birthday wishes I have recieved. I know so many awesome people, and it makes me happy.

In Mother Russia.....

Flight to Moscow, Russia, from JFK: $373 (inc. all taxes/fees!!). (That price alone is enough to warrant its own blog entry.)
Tourist visa: $100(??).
Hostel for 6 nights: $100.
Impulsively booking a spring break/birthday vacation to a country you've always wanted to visit: priceless.

That happy feeling

Two completely disparate things to mention.

For one, I came into the office today to find a box of Smurf-themed Kinder Eggs that a friend had left on my desk. And that is a reason for joy like no other.

As for the other? I'm working on a story now that's taking slightly more time to write than I wish it would. But as I'm putting it together I realized that I'm quoting the same people who, a couple weeks ago, appeared in The New York Times.

And the fact that they were just as willing to talk to me is a pretty cool thing.

Also, it's been far too long without a bike messenger sighting. Too much time in the 'burbs will do that too you, I suppose.

Wedding Happiness

I ordered Tiaras for my sister and I for my wedding. My sis will be wearing hers more like a headband since I am the only one who is allowed to wear a legit tiara.

He speaks the truth

It has been far too long without an update. My apologies, on behalf of all of us. It will still be long between updates, but at least I can tell you a couple things:

• My sister has come to visit. We've been exploring Atlanta and Georgia, including her new favorite place: Babyland General Hospital. They're thinking of building an amusement park.
• It's snowed here, too. It even stuck. A little.
• I met a Santa Claus who keeps every list children send or hand him, and scrapbooks them. He could not explain why.
• I flew in the Goodyear Blimp. And it was awesome, like a boat ride in the sky.

It's hardly everything, but it's a few things. And maybe you're still out there, looking for joy.

Arrgh, mateys

While searching for the post office this afternoon, I passed a business that had several flags flying out front.... including the Jolly Roger (albeit at half mast). It was pure wonderfulness.

It has been FAR too long without an update here! Has nobody had anything pleasant in their lives??
In the spirit of the previous post: today is 12/11/10. Does that make anyone smile? Hopefully?

In other news, I walked out of my apartment yesterday and encountered a still, muffled silence. No cars on the highway, even. It was sublime, in an otherwordly way. Then I realized it was snowing, and that made it even better.

Dates

Today is 8/9/10 and this makes me immensely happy.

Summer Colds

No, it is not Summer Colds that bring me joy. They, in fact, tend to bring me the opposite of joy, and this particular cold is no exception to that rule.

What HAS brought me joy via this cold, however, is my fiance. Throughout this weekend, as I have been a mouthbreathing snotty mess, he keeps starting to ask if I am okay, as I am often a mouthbreathing snotty mess after running away to cry without him knowing.

The fact that he notices and the fact that he told me several times that he keeps worrying because he keeps thinking I am upset brings joy to my heart. Yes folks, the crazy and capricious Chrys has found a keeper.

Of food trucks and other joys

The sun is shining, the grass is green and Cleveland now has food trucks.

We've had hot dog stands on many downtown corners for quite some time, but this is different. Not only is it something I can eat (street food + vegetarian friendly hadn't previously been the case), but there's a bit of mystery in where the truck will be on what day, and whether it can be found.

Earlier this week, I tracked down the first truck, an Asian-inspired one (though my menu won't convince you that's the case) where I had delicious gazpacho, tater tots, a veggie taco and a sushi push-pop. Yum.

There was bright, beautiful graffiti near where it was parked, and a gentleman with a long gray braid down his back on the trolley I took over. Another word about the braid: it petered out so slowly, and at the end, was simply several strands that must have wanted to stay together.

Canadian radio

This isn't the first time I've extolled the virtues of the music from our neighbors to the north. But it has been a while. And two things about CBC radio made me smile the other day.

First, there was the commercial that -- instead of telling me something was on at 8/7 Central -- told me the programme they were discussing was on at 8/8:30 Newfoundland.

There's also the matter of temperature. Driving home with my windows down and the sun beating the temperature well into the 80s, I hardly expected to hear the forecast tell me tomorrow's high would be 28 degrees.

How apropos

I promise I haven't disappeared entirely, and will reappear with more frequency in the not-too-too-distant future. In the meantime, I give you this job announcement. I love the correlation of names to job titles (and in my head, yes, it becomes undertaker -- which is more appropriate, true, but go with me here).

National Underwriter Life and Health: Bill Coffin has been appointed Editor in Chief of National Underwriter Life and Health, he was previously Director of Publications at the Risk and Insurance Management Society.

Man, do I rock!

Guys, check it: it wasn't a fluke! I got another award, though I don't know what yet.

Also, my editor told me a story I turned in today -- that I've been working on, off and on, since February (let's be honest -- mostly off) was "wonderful." And that makes me even happier.

It's a pretty fun story. You should totally read it.

Public Service Announcement

I'd like to take a moment to tell you how much I love the Internet, and the wealth of information available therein.

You can now go back to your regularly scheduled programs.

I searched on the Internet

For April Fool's, Google replaced its name with Topeka's. This image from the press release amused me to no end -- proper uses of the new company name. I particularly like the last one.

The Census

One of the best parts about my last job was the fact that I got to write about Census data as it came out -- how much the county was growing, whether there were more minorities in a particular city, etc. And although that's something I find interesting, the true reason it was exciting was the hold music.

You heard me right -- the hold music. As noted here, the Census Bureau records facts and figures about Americana and plays then in lieu of tunes when you call their answer line.

Fascinating and funny, it always made me happy to be put on hold.

Icelandic humor

Certainly, the volcanic eruption and subsequent ash cloud that stopped airline travel across Europe this month wasn't funny. But some of what came out of it was.

For example: This story about Iceland's reaction to the eruption (after all, it is their volcano) has a couple jokes in it that made me chuckle.

My ability to post them has been somehow compromised by uncooperative technology, but it's certainly worth a read.

Of April

I certainly didn't mean to neglect the spreading of joy in April; it was certainly a very joyful month. In brief, some things that made me smile:

I went to the wonderful wedding of a wonderful friend, had a mini-college reunion and met several of the bride's friends, all of whom are fantastic. I ate a lot of delicious Austin food, snagged a Nancy Drew Mad Libs and found a pretty snazzy gift for my sister and a good friend. Eventually, they'll go in the mail.

I learned my parking attendant's name. It's Ray.

I went to the Cleveland Orchestra with friends. The orchestra is amazing. Severance Hall is beautiful. And jaunts to see Avenue Q and August: Osage County were similarly (if separately) fantastic.

I used the word tintinnabulation in a story. I scooped the competition in another (big) story, and the big bosses noticed. I managed to start a running joke, of sorts, that's made it into the paper three times now. It has also garnered me many pens and left me amused.

I reconnected with an old friend. I spent some quality time with an older friend. I had super, if all-too-brief, moments with more recent friends who went out of their way to say hello.

I hope your Aprils were as sunny.

Floating flag

I ventured to beautiful Avon, Ohio this morning. You may know it as the home of Duck brand duct tape (they have an awesome duct tape festival each year; I learned how to make purses and wallets and spread duct tape joy when I went a couple years ago), but that has nothing to do with why I was there.

Why I was there isn't important. What is important is that on the way home, I saw an American flag blowing gently in the wind. Alone, this is not an unusual thing to see. What made this flag different -- dare I say special? -- is that instead of standing tall on a pole, it was suspended from a construction crane that was holding it high above the earth.

I kept looking for the pole. It was pretty cool.

At the movies

Last week, the Cleveland International Film Festival came to town. It was a pretty intense affair with some fantastic movies that I saw and many I did not.

I got to go to the opening film and a series of shorts, in addition to a normal evening movie after work. And although it wasn't the best movie that I saw, the best part of the festival was the chance to go see an hour-long film at lunchtime. There's just something wonderful about going to a midday movie that makes you feel like you're playing hooky in a wonderful sort of way.

Next year, you should follow suit.

Again with the fog

No pictures for you today, but I will tell you that the fog this afternoon was subtle. It was as if you woke up bleary-eyed, without your glasses, and rubbed your eyes against the blur. It made bridges fade into nothing, as if they were Photoshopped away. It gave the air a certain brightness.

It also felt as if you were walking into an industrial freezer upon stepping outside: that cold blast, sustained, the air unmoving, an eye-opening chill but not an unpleasant one.

Family

So, Today, I had visits from extended family. The family of Arielle. That is all.

A foggy day in Clevelandtown

Perhaps I have already mentioned my love of fog. Yesterday was a magnificent day -- because it started out foggy and ended up sunny and beautiful.

This foggy image arrived in my e-mail box this afternoon. It's Progressive Field, where the Indians play, as coated in clouds. Apparently this guy took it. You can also see a fogless shot on his page, but what's the fun in that?

Not like the goat

I got called a "good kid" today. While perhaps I should have been less than thrilled, instead it caused me to giggle.

The seven deadly

I used the phrase "cardinal sin" in a story I wrote today, and wanted to check to make sure I was using it properly. A Google search led me here on Wikipedia. Which made me very happy.

Ookk

I got to use the word "bookkeeper" in a story last week. Bookkeeper is one of my favorite words since some Encyclopedia Brown story (or something) that involved a discussion of words that had consecutive repeating letters. See: roommate, balloon. But few have three.

Using bookkeeper led me to peruse this Wikipedia page. Careful: may be addicting.

Hello, sunshine!

The best part about winter is that it begets spring. And this past week, spring arrived -- at least for a little while.

This means bright sunlight, melting snow and people wearing shorts and short sleeves. Broad smiles. Windswept hair. Drinks on patios. It's awesome.

I ate lunch outside the past few days, sitting on the stoop of my building with a book. This evening, I managed to spare a few minutes for an art walk -- something much harder to convince yourself to do if it's an art trudge. Yesterday's warm weather inspired a trip to Coventry and some super conversation.

You Southerners -- with your 70-degree Marches -- may think we're crazy. But I'll leave you with the weather report from the college radio station this morning:

"Exceptionally warm... 63 degrees... unbelievable!"

And that pretty much sums it up.

Snowman

He was on a main stretch of road and had a red scarf, carrot nose and stick arms. But the best part? Resting in his stick arm -- on his snow hip -- was a bottle of Coca-Cola.

If that's not a Coke commercial in the making (or is it one already?), I don't know what is.

Optimism

On the back of a truck for a cleaning service:

Vehicle makes frequent stops... hopefully!

It was also decorated with pictures of Leprechauns flitting about.

In the news

Two things to share with you, both from New York Times stories this week.

This, from a story about the new Olympic sport ski cross and its competitors, had me laughing loudly: "Others included Richard Spalinger of Switzerland, whose hobbies were announced as football, anger management and bowling."

And this, sweeter, is from an obituary of a guy who created a number of magazines. The quote is from his wife: “Would you say he was a strong outdoorsman? No, but he tried everything,” Mrs. Welsh said. “His whole motto was, ‘Life should be lived like a cavalry charge.’ ”

More about the snow

I realize it gets mentioned a lot, but it is omnipresent. So.

Over the past week, the snow has looked like flaked glass chips, confetti and grated Parmesan cheese. As well as plain old snow.

And when I had a visitor from Southern climes last weekend, he humored me by walking outside and saying, "Hey! It's snowing!" every time. (And yes, it was.) I had been lamenting the fact that my Southern friends got snow and were excited about it, while everyone here seems to be pretty much all snowed out.

It is a lot of snow.

So much so, in fact, that I got stuck in the driveway last week. My friendly neighbor pushed me out. So I made chocolate chip cookies in return. Yum.

I'm rich!

Cleaning out my wallet today, I discovered $40 tucked between receipts. And that's awesome.

Zebras

Thanks to Andi (and later, a string of amusing Facebook updates), I was tipped off to this tale of a zebra run amuck in Atlanta's streets.

Alone, this is amusing. But what makes it fantastic is the fact that this is the third zebra story to come out of Atlanta in as many years.

Take the case of Evidence, who was found grazing on the side of the highway, or Barcode, who was zebra-napped as a college prank. Something about Atlanta calls for zebra freedom, it seems.

What would you name your zebra? I think I would alter a friend's idea slightly and go with Red.

Snow flakes

Rumor has it that the Eskimos have many words for snow. It's certainly true that there are a plethora of ways a snowfall can manifest itself.

This afternoon, the snow was coming down in one of my favorite ways: as individual flakes. So when they landed on my black coat, I could see the different shapes and compare them to each other. No two alike, indeed.

Look, up in the sky!

There's just something so wonderful about the Goodyear blimp hanging over the skyline.

Black and white and read all over

First, a little bit about me.

I am not a morning person. I always mean to wake up early enough to take the bus to work, where I can leisurely read the paper, but then I do not. Instead, I drive to work.

But I still want to know the morning's news. And since there are many traffic lights on my commute, I read the paper on my way in. Mostly when I'm stopped at said lights, but so as not to lose my place, I drive with the paper in one hand, in my lap, where it sometimes flops over the steering wheel. This is how I arrive most mornings.

I work in a building without a parking lot, and frequently chat with the guy at the block-away lot whom I pay each morning to watch over my car. Mostly, it's just a good morning, but sometimes we wish each other happy weekends or talk about traffic. Or he warns me that I really should get up early enough to take the bus because there's some concert or game and the cost of the parking lot will go up tremendously the next day. I like him very much for giving me these warnings. We also occasionally laugh at the other drivers who slip on the ice when they get out of their cars. But that's just because people falling is funny, as long as they aren't hurt and they aren't you.

But this morning, I was a little nervous. You see, I was going to be on the radio to discuss a story I had written. And while I knew what there was to know about my story, I wanted to be well-informed about the stories the other guests were discussing, too. So while the paper was on my lap as I drove in, I was not reading it so as not to clutter my mind with information that would not be useful for on-the-air.

Of course, then, it's today that parking lot man chooses to tell me: "I love how you're always reading the paper."

I laughed, and told him it was the only time I had a chance. And wished him a good day.

It eased my pre-radio jitters.

Orange you glad?

I was walking into work yesterday when a guy holding his lunch passed me -- a container of pasta in his left hand, an orange in his right.

And as he walked, he tossed the orange up and down, again and again, into the air and back to his hand.

It looked so effortless. I would have dropped the orange.

You got the right one, baby

Someone had drawn a large winking smiley face, in red marker, on the back of a Pepsi truck I drove past the other day.

I'm a Coke loyalist, but it was still pretty cool.

Everything's better in British

Even corrections. Take, for example, this e-mail:

Apologies for our mailing system’s spell-check wrongly correcting Andrew Sentance’s name which of course is not spelt Sentence. Feel free to subject me to the kind of vitriol I deserve for not turning it off first.

Yes, that's all it said.

In a winter wonderland

I caught snowflakes with my tongue today.

Joy

Two of my very best friends had very good things happen to them this weekend. Engagement rings and babies -- oh my!

I had a successful potluck and movie marathon. But that hardly compares. So, dudes: Congratulations! I'm excited for both of you, and for all involved.

Tresses

I discovered last weekend that my brother and I have practically the same haircut. His is just slightly shorter. He did not think this was as funny as I did.

And today I saw a guy with curly, chin-length hair dash between a store and his car. His hair bounced. It was fantastic.

For your reading pleasure

A friend from college, Voracious_Boot, has taken to chronicling her mother's care packages, e-mails and phone calls at shitmymomsendsme.blogspot.com -- I find it hysterical. Maybe you will, too.

Vowels

I spent way too much time today (really: any time at all) looking for words that have all five vowels after typing "Sequoia" and realizing that it has all five vowels.

That sparked a conversation at work about how "Sequoia" would be a very expensive word on "Wheel of Fortune" and the enjoyment that can be derived from reading words backwards.

Go ahead, try it. I'll wait.

Some all-vowel words (and other fun language facts) here and here.

Oh, shovelers

I've been meaning to say so for days, but people with snow shovels, plows and salt have been making my life so much happier as of late. Walking on a clean sidewalk and driving on a cleared street -- the joy that comes from that mid-winter cannot be overstated.

I didn't have my camera with me when I ventured a little further into snowbelt territory today, but the trees had what looked like a foot of snow on their branches. In many cases, it looked like someone had tossed a white sheet or a big, fluffy blanket over the trees -- you could just see the shape of them and the tips of branches underneath a glistening pile of snow.

Winter weather

When I look out the window, I feel as if I'm in a snow globe. The clumps of flakes are drifting every which way.

It almost looks like a gentle swarm of moths has taken to the sky.

ahhh, sweet Christmas.

Several Amazing things happened this Christmas for me, which I feel that I should share.

1) I was blessed with Christmas Ale from one very awesome friend up North. Not only this, but I got to share this blessing with 3 new people. I am not sure that I have quite converted them to Great Lakes Minions yet, but I feel the seed has been planted.

2) I had an amazing "Christmas Part 2" Dinner with my family on the 27th of Reuben and Christmas Ale. A Real Cleveland Christmas despite not being able to travel up north this year.

3) My boyfriends family has completely brought me in to the fold. I recieved a "Santa Bag" from them this year. A tradition that they have had since the boys were little (mind you, the youngest boy is now 31.) Andy's sister in law also got one this year. She married in to the family 9 years ago. I felt rather special and loved.

4) My boyfriend, in a moment of weakness, has agreed to let me get a full sized tree for the house tomorrow. My slow takover of Christmas has begun.

For a Christmas Spent away from home and my family of origin (parents and sis were in Cleve with the extended family on Xmas day.) It was really quite nice and heartwarming. Even going in to work from 5-10 was kind of nice.

Bring it to the public's awareness!

Yesterday, while driving through Atlanta on the Downtown Connector, I saw a large billboard that said, "Google this: puppy mills."
Enough said.

It makes me happy

When people who I like like each other. And there's been a good bit of that in recent weeks.

Super awesome dark chocolate also makes me happy. Yum.

A happy 2010 to all y'all!

Hodgepodge

Yesterday, I saw a car with Christmas lights -- lit up -- strung through and around the roof rack.

There was a flock of birds that looked like an amoeba, pulsing in and out as the fowl dodged about in the wind.

In the mailbox, there was a Christmas card from our mail carrier. Also, in Sunday's paper, one from the delivery person.

Holidays are a great time for real mail. And visitors who are returning to see family. Sometimes, those visitors even have boxes of awesomeness.

Business-class flights include free alcohol.

I've just finished the first 24 hours of what will be an amazing week of delicious Indian food and fantastic friends. And a fluffy dog.

Good tidings, y'all.

And then we eat it

See this house? It's a pretty impressive house, right?

Now... imagine it made out of candy.

All the more amazing, right?

I went to the Cleveland Botanical Garden with a friend today to see the gingerbread houses (I can't seem to find pictures from this year's, and neither of us brought a camera), and was expecting some impressive work -- like the gingerbread treehouse, for example, or some pretty cute gingerbread churches. But we also saw that house. And it was amazing.

Also exciting? My brand new hat (It's the Yeti, but in Monster blue).

Regret the error

When journalists make mistakes in their work, they're supposed to acknowledge and fix those mistakes at the next possible opportunity -- in the next day's paper, by fixing it in an online story, by announcing the mistake on-air. I can really only speak for newspapers, but most, if not all, have a space for those corrections, often on page two.

There's a great Web site that tracks corrections, called Regret the Error. It gets the name from the last sentence of many corrections, which is often the publication saying that it does, in fact, regret having made the error.

They're often entertaining and interesting reads. But I want to call your attention to the 2009 best-of list.

The funny doesn't really start until four screens down (skip the fact-checking part unless you're inherently interested in that sort of thing and start with the Correction of the Year).

I'll let you read the correction itself, which is most unfortunate. And a number of the corrections contained in the list (or more appropriately, the mistakes that were made that led to the corrections being on that list) were hysterical. But the thing that made me laugh out loud while sitting at work was a Twitter meme referring to that correction of the year. Its hashtag is #washingtonpostcorrections and in case they're off the screen by the time you search it, it includes such gems as:

• PamPF99 Please note that The Monkees are in fact believers, and not heretics as reported. The Post regrets the error. #washingtonpostcorrections
• mistabaka: Mo money does not, as was reported, bring mo problems, we regret the error. #washingtonpostcorrections
• cobrown: Snoop Dogg did not, as we reported, contract the plague. It was his chronic that was bubonic. #washingtonpostcorrections
• jsmooth995: George Clinton has assured us his roof remains intact, and he takes fire safety quite seriously. #washingtonpostcorrections
• sethlipkin There is, in fact, a mountain high enough. The Post regrets the error. #washingtonpostcorrections
• nolamomma Dr. Dre is IN Public Enemy. He is not considered by law enforcement to be A public enemy. #washingtonpostcorrections

You get the picture.

And some real corrections (from the best-of) to whet your palate:

Toronto Sun: A headline on page one of the Toronto Sun yesterday was both inaccurate and misleading. In fact, as the story reported, the mother of a boy involved in a high school fight in Keswick said her son “said something stupid.” She did not say nor imply he was stupid. The Sun regrets the error and apologizes to the boy and his family.

Los Angeles Times: Bear sighting: An item in the National Briefing in Sunday’s Section A said a bear wandered into a grocery story in Hayward, Wis., on Friday and headed for the beer cooler. It was Thursday.

On Dasher, on Dancer...

Better, even, than seeing a mounted policeman?

A mounted policeman whose horse is wearing a Santa cap.

And as an added bonus: a Prius with the license plate "MO MPG."

Text message from my brother

You should start wearing a wwjd bracelet and whenever you look at it think, what would Jared do? :)

Damaged goods

I got this from a local law firm, and had to share the first paragraph:

The Consignee Has a Duty to Accept a Damaged Shipment

If girls were like consignees, I would have had a lot more dates in high school. The reason being, a consignee has a duty to accept, and cannot reject, a damaged shipment from the carrier, unless the goods are considered to be worthless. As a skinny kid with acne, I was certainly a damaged shipment, but I would not have considered myself worthless. I mean, I was on the football team and I even had a short stint with a garage band.

I think that says it all.

Or, the start of the next Scream movie

I have stalkers. You can tell from two subsequent text messages I got yesterday afternoon.

The first, at 4:15 p.m. -- "I'm by your house!"

The second, at 4:25 p.m. -- "I'm in ur house!"

OK -- the first was from my sister, who was in the neighborhood for what must have been a late lunch. And the second was from a friend who is staying with me this week, and who was kind enough to let me know my keys didn't give her any trouble.

But I was mightily amused by the timing and content.

Loosen those belts

I like cranberry sauce. And tomorrow's cranberry day.

Enjoy, everyone, and happy Thanksgiving!

Let them eat... meat!

I'm a vegetarian. So the turkey-shaped cake -- complete with frosting drumsticks -- that a couple friends got me this weekend for my birthday was particularly amusing.

Never mind that it said Happy Thanksgiving or that it tasted nothing like turkey flesh (I'm only assuming here). It looked like the real thing, and it's not often you get to carve, not cut, a cake.

I'll post a picture if I get emailed any.

'Tis the season

The past couple days, I've come across workers stringing lights on downtown trees and buildings. This is nice, first of all, because it's starting to be dusk-verging-on-dark when I leave work, and the lights add some brightness. Second of all, I thought it was neat that the lights are on when they're strung.

Presumably, this is so they can make sure the whole string is working or see that they're appropriately spaced as they're being hung. But I liked it because it was just neat to see a long string of light move so elegantly.

Hehehehehehe

While leaving the psychology building this afternoon, I saw a female midget sitting on the front steps leading up to the building. I find midgets highly entertaining, for some peculiar reason: every midget I see makes me smile and clap my hands gleefully. Maybe because I think they'd make a good pet? Or maybe a meal? (Of course, there's always that morbid sense of curiosity about midget porn, but that's an entirely different bucket of worms.....)

Feliz cumpleanos

Today's my sister's birthday... and her friends blew up 150 balloons and filled her room with them. It reminded me of the ball rooms at amusement parks when I was little and looks like lots of fun.

Crunch

I jumped in a big pile of leaves yesterday.

Twice.

In my work clothes.

It's the only reason I watched it

On my flight to Puerto Rico this morning (which, in itself, is another very, very pleasantest thing!), the in-flight movie was called "I Hate Valentine's Day." Although the movie itself was pretty lame, there was one scene where the leading lady -- who was obviously on some combination of lithium and ecstasy throughout first 4/5th of the film -- angrily throws something mushy (I couldn't tell what it was) against a wall, screaming, "Valentine's Day BLOWS!!!!" I almost cheered audibly; the change in attitude was a complete 180 from her previous "Love is wonderful, dating is so much fun, Valentine's Day is the best day EVER!!" mentality.
Isn't bitterness fun??? :-D

Shiny objects

I got complimented twice at Starbucks today, by two different baristas. One said he liked my necklace (which is an abalone shell that I got for my bat mitzvah, though I can't for the life of me remember who it's from -- and now that's kind of bothering me; it looks vaguely like an oilie sticker -- who remembers those?), then asked the other barista if he liked my necklace. Barista two was not impressed.

Barista two, though, thought my credit card was pretty sweet. It has a picture of a daisy (or something) on it, and was apparently different enough to stand out.

Does anyone else get compliments on their credit cards? That happens to me more than I think is normal, but maybe people are just super-impressed by unusual card markings.

Just... wow

I will add no commentary to this, except to say it's probably inappropriate (maybe not in a NSFW way, but kind of bordering on it) and I really, really love the generous use of asterisks. Really love.

Oh, and you should really click and read it. Obviously.

Three things

I totally love Where the Wild Things Are, which I've seen twice. It's definitely not for everybody, but the emotion of it really made me smile, even when the story was sad.

I had a delicious egg salad sandwich at a downtown restaurant today. The secret ingredient? Truffle oil. Yeah, I think that'll make anything taste good.

Yesterday's mail included a long-expected postcard from a dear friend. I'd been anticipating a letter, but this was above what I thought would come -- a postcard with our faces on it, taken from the summer's golf carting adventure. It was unexpected and sweet.

On the road again

While running errands today, I drove past a "Lord of Life Pumpkin Patch" and an alpaca farm. There were about 20 outside grazing. I was pretty psyched.

Why Halloween is super, and other tales

Yesterday was the fun-filled conclusion of Cleveland Beer Week, which included much quality friend time, out-of-city visitors and adorable miniature beer steins with a doctored (to say BEER) FREE stamp logo on them. It was pretty wonderful and delicious.

But that's not why you're here, exactly (although, the fact that there's a homebrewing group called the Society of Northeast Ohio Brewers -- allowing them to get the Web site beersnobs.org -- is pretty fantastic and grin-worthy). You're here, instead, so I can tell you that when we were driving in, I saw a man driving past in white face-paint, done up like a mime. But with glasses, which makes it all the more surreal.

And so I can tell you that a friend of mine, who body paints in his free time, painted two friends and myself as a dog, a cat and a mouse one October a few years ago. We bought tails and ears and looked the part, and decided the perfect thing to do was to go out to a bar.

And can you believe that not a single person -- not the waitress, not anyone we walked past -- even mentioned our attire? Lesson learned: dress up oddly in non-October months for maximum effect. The process and the company were still entertaining, though.

Animals in the street

But in a good way. Not in a bad way.

This weekend, my friends and I stumbled on the Lakewood pet parade. Dogs in costumes are kind of fantastic. There were a couple people dressed as Cruella de Vil with their dogs -- which were not Dalmatians -- sporting Dalmatian costumes. One of my co-workers had the family dog in a life vest and a Salty Dog hat. There were vikings, a lobster and any other number of adorably clad canines.

The winners, my co-worker said, were a dog duo: a pug that was wearing horns and made to look like a bull (and was apparently very realistic) and another, smaller dog, that was made up like a bull fighter.

Yesterday, there was a mounted policeman (as in, a man on a horse) on the streets downtown. And this morning, there was a truck with four trailers attached, all with the Ringling name on the sides. It was very Dumbo.

Holy Boss's Day, Batman!

My brother has a job where he is in charge of people. He keeps claiming that these people like him, but I thought that was just something that brothers said to sisters to prove how awesome they are. Until tonight.

Friday, as you may have known, was Boss's Day. It's the best day for sucking up to someone who decides whether you keep your job -- well, the best day other than every other day. And my brother's employees went all out.

The card wasn't enough. Nor was the sign they made describing him as "Da Boss." A cassata cake, delicious as it was (And man, was it delicious. And gigantic. I think it was a full sheet.) just didn't cut it.

On top of all of that (and that's obscene already, from where I stand!), the co-workers went in together to get him a #23 Cavs jersey -- that's LeBron James' number, for those of you who don't follow basketball.

On the back, though? My brother's name.

I was in hysterics at the efforts, but I guess it means they really do like him!

Let it snow

This is really Danny's tale to tell, but I'm going to take it from him. Because I can. And because he can add his version, too, complete with details.

Text message at 3:03 p.m. Thursday: Omg it's snowing!!

My response, at 3:14 p.m.: :) That's early! A lot? Is it wonderful?

Text message at 3:15 p.m.: Haha! Just flurries, sort of sprinkling rain with it. But yes, I think it's neat, altho no one else seems to

Text message at 5:03 p.m.: I take it back, it's really coming down now!! Haha this is awesome!

He promised pictures.

Other people? Less excited.

I AM the news

OK, I'm not really. But I could have been!

The NBC affiliate called me this afternoon, wanting to interview me for a story that related to an article I wrote last week.

I said no -- I was swamped today, and that's not really my thing anyway -- but it's certainly flattering to be asked.

Balloon magic

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal last week about -- of all things -- the increasing artistry of balloon twisting. As in, the clowns (usually) who make hats or dogs or swords (and I thought a rocking horse was the epitome of cool).

Now, they're way beyond that. And way into installment art. And amazingness.

Check out the slide show. For real.

More bikes!

Two instances of no-handed amazingness, all in one day. I was more impressed by the guy who was riding a bike no-handed while carrying a box -- a decently sized box, too, and he even managed to turn left (though there may have been a hand touchdown) -- than I was the guy who was talking on his cell phone with one hand and smoking with the other. But when he nearly dropped, then juggled, then caught his cigarette, it made it all OK.

As a bikeless bonus, there was also a maroon limo. Has anyone ever seen a maroon limo? I thought not.

Can I toucha-toucha-toucha touch them?

On the shuttle to work (school) this morning, the lady across from me was wearing fishnet stockings. The only other times I've seen them in use has been at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. She looked pretty bad-ass in them too; I wanted to say something, but withheld due to the likely creepiness factor.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

OK, it's not exact. But it's what I thought of when I saw a license plate that said LORD ICY.

They probably meant: Lord, I see why.

I read it as a shout-out to the White Witch in the Chronicles of Narnia.

It's alarming how charming I feel

One of my (male) coworkers said to my (male) boss this morning, "Wow, you look nice today!"

My boss replied by saying -- then singing -- "I feel pretty." (It doesn't start til the 50-second mark.)

I tried not to guffaw.

Mail

I got two unexpected pieces of mail -- and one of them, adorably enough, was an invitation to a first birthday party. How cute.

To reciprocate, I sent three pieces today of what will likely be unexpected mail when they arrive. OK, two of them are unexpected -- I didn't have the last address I needed.

Even so, the content is a surprise!

It's not Eureka, but still

Today during our lab meeting, my professor said, "By Jove." It was cute because it's so, so, so stereotypically professor-ish.

Water, water everywhere

In case you haven't heard, it's pretty wet in Atlanta these days.

I came across this picture (tweeted by a friend who's now living in Philadelphia) and was amazed by how beautiful it was. This, actually, is my favorite spot in Atlanta -- it's a bridge that's always covered in the most beautiful graffiti. In addition to just being a gorgeous scene, I'm jealous that these guys were able to take such a leisurely trip through it.

Lovely.

Yiddish curses

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, was this weekend, and part of the rabbi's sermon today had most of the congregation doubled over in their seats laughing.

He began by lamenting the cursing of recent times -- not the fact that there is cursing, mind you, but the fact that we aren't more creative about it. Yiddish curses, he said, start off sounding like a blessing -- but then there's a twist. My favorite, which I've used more than once, is this: May you grow like an onion, with your head in the ground and your feet in the air.

Others include: May you lose all your teeth but one, and may you get a toothache in the one you have left; May you have a sweet death, may you be run over by a sugar truck; May you be like a chandelier, hanging all day and burning all night. You get the picture.

So now I'm contemplating good curses. (Some others are here -- enjoy!)

Names

One of my friends is having a baby, and doesn't yet have names picked out. This means I get to pore through baby name books and make suggestions.

Of course, I'll be pleased if my suggestions stick. In the meantime, though, I'm happy enough to learn that the female form of Xerxes is Sherry -- and that it means "pertaining to Caeser."

Names rock my world.

On paper

One thing spotty Internet access will lead you to is the written word. Like, on paper.

As such, I've been spending a lot of time with cookbooks, instead of looking up recipes online. And coming across things that look delicious, but that I wouldn't have thought to make, had I not flipped past them. Like tonight's frittata. Yum. Mushroom leek risotto is next on the list.

And this weekend brought a trip to the library, which meant three unread (adult) Roald Dahl books. Maybe no computer (I'm on a borrowed one right now) isn't all bad.

What's up, Doc?

Last week, I went to Blossom to see a performance of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies music, complete with cartoons. This was super-adorable and fun.

But the thing thing that made me really grin? At the end of the show, instead of tossing flowers on the stage, someone brought a bunch of carrots to the conductor.

Bugs Bunny, indeed.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a dead computer. So I will once again be sporadic, at least until a new one is acquired. Anyone have suggestions for awesome new or horribly awful computers?

America's Roller Coast

If this doesn't make you smile, then I don't know what to say to you!

Maybe try one of the other ones, I guess. (In other words: A day well-spent.)

I hope a rhyming dictionary was involved

Because otherwise, why would the Black Eyed Peas rhyme "mazel tov" with "take it off" in the song "I Gotta Feeling"?

They did add a "l'chaim" in for good measure, though.

The future is the past

I saw a woman hula-hooping on the sidewalk today. She was really good -- it was going up and down her torso to her neck, over a shoulder, on an arm. I was impressed. Much better than me -- either IRL or on a Wii.


And then, a limo that had doors that opened up, like a DeLorean. I wanted to stop and stare, but the light was green.